Pulse of Life

B"H, 

Miracles... 

We learned in the Vietnam War that an injured healthy, young man could have a hemoglobin level of three or four and still be asymptomatic as long as he was well hydrated.  And so, we understand how important water is to our functional selves.  But in another place, another time, and definitely other circumstances even a hemoglobin level of eight is not allowed.  For a woman with advanced breast cancer on the eve of starting a phase one clinical trial treatment plan that requires a hemoglobin level of nine or more the only answer is a blood transfusion... two units.

The color red is a symbol for life in many cultures... It makes sense.  The red blood gives us the pulse of life, literally.  I listened to the nurse explain the process.  Never before have I needed to rely on the kindness of strangers in such an intimate way.  The blood that pulsed through their vessels in their bodies will now do the same for me by the end of the day.  There are the pre-medications to allow everything to go smoothly.  There are the vital sign checks every fifteen minutes to confirm that all is well.  The nurse is very young but also very knowledgeable and dedicated.  She inspires confidence in me.  There is hope for this world when a twenty-two year old nurse with one year of working experience knows so much and does what must be done in such a humane as well as professional way.  

Miraculous... there is the pulse of someone else's life coursing through my veins.  May they be blessed with good health and continuing wellness.  How do I say thank you to someone I have never met?  Who knew how important these acts of donating blood could be until desperation demanded that I be the recipient?  There are these people who send their lives out into the world in many amazing ways.  You wouldn't and couldn't know them by sight.  They look like regular people.  And they quietly go about the business of living without any fanfare over this most generous act of giving blood.  

My aunt received blood and my father, too.  I never knew this until now.  No grand announcements, this miracle of life happened so quietly and off the radar of peoples' awareness that one might think less of it all.  But, a miracle is a miracle is a miracle.  

When a person is first diagnosed with cancer I would imagine that in the first collection of thoughts there is the question, "oh my G-d, what if I die?"  Spoken or unspoken, the revelation of one's mortality is a powerful confrontation.  The more important question should also be asked.  "Oh my G-d, what if I live?"  

What if I must live with these new details?  I woke up this morning -- so far so good -- recognized the place, got dressed, went downstairs, and those dinner dishes were still sitting on the dining table.  Perhaps being alive means that I have to clear the table and wash the dishes.  "Oh my dear G-d, what if I live?" might mean a more mindful and responsible life.  I might have to take care of myself with more attention and care.  No more "winging  it".  Early in my path as a cancer patient one of my nurses said to me, "you heal the best while you sleep, and you fuel that healing by eating and hydrating yourself well.  Don't cheat yourself!!!"  These words of wisdom apply to us all.  Getting regular sleep, eating well, hydrating well, and paying attention to each and every moment works wonders for the sick as well as the healthy, for the young as well as the old, for the employed as well as the unemployed.  There is always something that must be done.  

When we are young and blessed with loving family, we can run to someone to comfort us when we stub our toe.  Or we can just scream and cry and someone might come to us.  But as a middle ager that stubbed toe is an assault that might require ice for comfort but what's the point of screaming...  There comes a time and a place when we must grow deep roots so that we can weather the storms of life... the little storms that stub our toes... the big storms that challenge our very existence. 

We are all connected.  May G-d bless each and every one of us with good healing, renewing health, continued wellness, and gratitude for the quiet unheralded miracles that embrace our being.