Sunday, June 24, 2012

The Shoe Fits...


...But Can You Dance In It?

"They fit.  They are beautiful.  Can you stand in them?  Try walking.  Okay, not bad, you just found your wedding shoes," said my aunt and my mother.

Two days later my dear friend and colleague took a look at my wedding dress and shoes.  "You will never make it through the day in those things," she said pointing at the white silk, embroidered and beaded shoes.  "Get white satin slip-ons.  No one will know the difference but you.  And you will be grateful to me, I guarantee you.  As soon as the ceremony is over and you guys have a few moments of privacy just change shoes.  When you come in for supper you will feel wonderful and comfortable."  And Lisel was right.

I wonder often about the passion that demands everything look right.  Those silk shoes were exquisite.  I could stand in them.  I could even walk in them.  But I could never dance in them with joy and zest.  

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Quite Ordinary


To Write Lives...

What teaches us the best?  A written history with all of the great moments in highlights or a written life with all that is quite ordinary.  The honest, imperfect human... dirty laundry, shame, warts, whatever you call the truth.  

Who teaches us the best?  The one with passion for living, mistakes and successes, and with a desire to connect...

July 12, 1978, Wednesday night
Dear Anna, I am so thrilled to read your letters as they sound so happy, and even your mother is happy, as reading them, she says you radiate happiness in them!  

Monday, June 11, 2012

Thank you!


A Grateful Heart Always

Thank you, everyone, for keeping vigil with me and my written thoughts.  A year has now passed.  A gazillion little notebooks I have filled with my scribble.  What started with great despair has become something else.  What that is, I don't know, but mystery is okay.  Many thanks to my friends who encouraged me to write as a way to prayer and healing.  Many thanks to my husband for making this blog which allows me to share some of my thoughts with people far and wide.  It has been true for me that writing has brought me closer to prayer, blessings, and healing.  

Monday, June 4, 2012

Pummeled Pillar



Go back to the den.

Why are you standing there?

Please sit down.


You are in the line of traffic.

Please, stay with the kids in the den.

For a man who has always been a pillar of his family and community it cannot be pleasant to be pushed out of the way while everyone packs, cleans, and moves the stuff of many lives.  What are the emotions that a man like this must feel as all the women in his life start bossing him around as if he knows nothing.  Bossy females, from his beloved wife of over sixty years, to his two middle aged daughters, to his teenage granddaughter with Down Syndrome...prevent him from surveying the changes in the home he provided for his wife and daughters as well as for the extended family of relatives... near and dear, far and dear.  The home of over fifty-eight years is being turned into an empty shell of a building.  The home is always where the people are and now the people, my mother and father, are moving to be near the grandchildren.