Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Quite Ordinary

B"H


To Write Lives...

What teaches us the best?  A written history with all of the great moments in highlights or a written life with all that is quite ordinary.  The honest, imperfect human... dirty laundry, shame, warts, whatever you call the truth.  

Who teaches us the best?  The one with passion for living, mistakes and successes, and with a desire to connect...

July 12, 1978, Wednesday night
Dear Anna, I am so thrilled to read your letters as they sound so happy, and even your mother is happy, as reading them, she says you radiate happiness in them!  


The honeymooners are now in Israel and then they will have four days in London, so they will visit Uncle Syd.  Chayim and Shira are making their home in Chayim's apartment.  Shira had it all fixed up before they got married.  Everything is in place as on August 28th, she starts Law School.  And voila!  Jacob was accepted to Law School, too, and starts the same day.  I believe he is a little disappointed, as he registered too late, so he thought and wanted to continue in Calvinton on the radio, as he loves his work there and then thought he'd visit Hanah in Israel but instead he was accepted.  I am thrilled.  What's a radio announcer? A lawyer is important.

I am so sorry you missed this wedding, as it was Orthodox in every sense and very freilach.  It was really a beautiful wedding, but after the chupah, my father-in-law took sick and my mother-in-law left with him, so she cried all night and missed all the festivities.  I was heartsick for her.  Her stupid son could have stayed with his father, but my Len would not suggest it.  He felt it should come from his brother... so it was too bad -- how many grandchildren will she see get married?  

All my friends came in and relatives, so it was very hectic for me even after the wedding.  This was the schedule:  Wednesday night, the stag ( five bridal showers on Shira ), Thursday night rehearsal and pre-nuptial dinner.  I invited all the hostesses, so your folks were there also, and Mr. D. asked your dad to the stag to see the belly-dancer.  Friday night all sleep-ins and my cousins from New York for Shabbos dinner.  Saturday morning in the Shul for Chayim's ooff roof and Jacob did shaccarris and Chayim did the Haftorah.  He lained and was just beautiful, and I served kiddush lunch for five hundred people.  Sunday morning I had a brunch for all of the out of town guests which Michel and Dvosha were among them.  They were also at the ooff roof.  Sunday night I entertained my friends from California.  Monday was early beauty parlor for me and the two grandmothers.  Tuesday was the wedding and we had to be ready at 11:30am for pictures, as the Kabbalat  Ponim was at 3pm and then we went to 2:30am the next morning!!  Jacob drove the get away car and I don't know when he slept.  He was a wonderful best man and quite a tummler at the wedding.  Shira's mother sang and it was just lovely.  Now I pray their mazel and gezunt should shine.  All this time poor Hanah was in only for thirteen days and she shopped and shopped.  We spent Thursday with her for her eighteenth birthday (on the 29th) and took her to lunch on the top of the Hancock building and she shopped at Water Tower, then Old Orchard and then Evanston.  She finally got a winter jacket.  She and everyone left on Sunday and the good bye was quite tearful.  A year is a long time as you know, but she was already gone five months.  It really wasn't much for her being here, so we were happy we had another wedding that night and Jacob stood up again.  I started work the next day and was rather tired. 

We got a new station wagon, the Caprice Chevie in plumwood color with everything on it.  It took me a week to find the right push button to open the windows, it's ridiculous.  

Buffie's mother told me Buffie heard from you and she is so looking forward to meeting you.  She wrote from Barcelona, she is on holiday with the family she stays with.  Do try to meet her soon.  She says she's not  far from you.  

Kooka looked beautiful and is elated again, Lina got a ring from boy #4 and this time the wedding is scheduled, March 18th, so I hope it takes.  Chayim knows him as he apprenticed for him at the store... he finishes Drake in January.  

This will be all for now so I will close with our love to you and stay happy and as sweet as you are.  Lana is in Australia now and is working on your mother and me to go to Paris, so we will see.  

All our love, your friend Mrs. D.  

ps I'm still not smoking on Shabbos!  I am proud of me, too.  Please excuse the horrible typing and the fancy stationery.  

Mrs. D. is in the realm of truth these past ten years. Her grave stone sits so quietly on the ground.  Don't you think it should give a little shimmy now and then to remind us all of her passion for life.  Who ever heard of an orthodox Jewish wedding with a belly dancer for entertainment?  And how much can one shop for a single winter coat.  Mrs. D. and my mother never made it to Paris.  But I came home to re-connect with them all.  The zest for Shabbos and the passion for yontiff I learned from Mrs. D.  ... even if she did sneak a cigarette on Shabbos now and then.   To know joy with the sorrows and the disappointments... Shira finished law school and Jacob dropped out never to return to the radio work.  Mrs. D. shared great sorrows and fears with me, the daughter of her dear friend.  But she taught me joy.  Did I learn her lessons well?

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