But, Perhaps His Teacher Was.
"Listen," said my Bubbe, "Papa was no tzaddik, he was just a lonely man. I was his wife. I took care of him. I fed him, I did his laundry, I gave him sons, I kept house, I made Shabbos and holidays. I took care of his brothers one by one as they came out of Russian hell. But, a woman gets tired as she gets older. It's nice to sleep at night. And that is why I say Papa was no tzaddik."
My grandparents were very real people. I always knew them as old folks but really, they were not that old by the numbers. By the grief and the helplessness they experienced they aged tremendously. Life was about helping others escape the unfathomable forces of the first half of the 20th century that were destroying communities and ways of life and nearest and dearest ones. I cannot imagine such grief.
And they survived. Did they thrive?
My grandfather was a successful business man. My grandmother had a huge dining set. She took in eight of her brothers-in-law at some time or another. There were more of them but the older ones stayed in Russia. Meyron complained about her cooking. "In the new Russia," he would say, "the food is much better." And he complained about her cleaning and laundry talents. "In the new Russia homes and clothes are kept finer than this." One day he waxed poetic about the new Russia too many times. When dinner arrived my grandmother served him a one way ticket back. Everyone else at the table had soup with knaidlach and goose. There was quiet chuckling while he ranted and raved. Finally, one of the brothers suggested he apologize to the woman who was caring for them. Perhaps there was still some soup and goose left for him, much tastier than a one way ticket.
Do we ever understand everything? No, I don't think so. I think we need to learn the lessons from my grandfather's teacher... "To be alive commands, demands a commitment to action without interference or interruption from one's moods or perceptions." We are all human so, of course, we will have those moods and perceptions but they must not get in the way. You can never go wrong doing something that must be done. First things first and the wisdom to know what that should be is also helpful.
Sometimes we forget about the mystery of life. Perhaps it is time to remember.
And they survived. Did they thrive?
My grandfather was a successful business man. My grandmother had a huge dining set. She took in eight of her brothers-in-law at some time or another. There were more of them but the older ones stayed in Russia. Meyron complained about her cooking. "In the new Russia," he would say, "the food is much better." And he complained about her cleaning and laundry talents. "In the new Russia homes and clothes are kept finer than this." One day he waxed poetic about the new Russia too many times. When dinner arrived my grandmother served him a one way ticket back. Everyone else at the table had soup with knaidlach and goose. There was quiet chuckling while he ranted and raved. Finally, one of the brothers suggested he apologize to the woman who was caring for them. Perhaps there was still some soup and goose left for him, much tastier than a one way ticket.
Do we ever understand everything? No, I don't think so. I think we need to learn the lessons from my grandfather's teacher... "To be alive commands, demands a commitment to action without interference or interruption from one's moods or perceptions." We are all human so, of course, we will have those moods and perceptions but they must not get in the way. You can never go wrong doing something that must be done. First things first and the wisdom to know what that should be is also helpful.
Sometimes we forget about the mystery of life. Perhaps it is time to remember.
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