I met my son twenty years before he was born

B"H,

Bubbe Raisel Goes Shopping:

On a mission



 The conversation...

Bubbe Raisel - You have to get married for the sake of your son.  ...  Here hold this.  (She passes a blue shirt-dress to her granddaughter.)

Anna - Wait, Bubbe, what son?  (hanging the dress back on the rack)

B.R. - Your son.  Here hold this.  (a beautiful paisley silk scarf that would have matched that dress)

A. - (putting the scarf down)  My son!  What son!  There has to be a guy!

B.R. - That's what I'm talking about.  Here hold this.  (a beautiful blue lace camisole that would have matched the dress AND the scarf)

A. - (placing the camisole back on the display counter)  Oy, Bubbe, I'm busy.  I'm studying, I'm teaching. 

B.R. -  Why do you think we are shopping today?  You need to get married for the sake of your son!  (They are walking around as the older lady re-gathers the dress, the scarf, and the camisole.)  Here, don't put these down again.  Hold them.

A. - My son?  What...

Another old lady -  You know, young lady, you shouldn't yell at your grandmother.  She's right.  A boy needs his father. 

A. - There's no  boy!

A.o.l. - Oy, (sighing) a baby yet.  (To Anna) Don't yell.   (To Bubbe Raisel)  He'll never remember a thing. (Shaking her head in sadness) 

A. - Bubbe!

B.R. - Sha shtil.  Calm down (to Anna) ...  (to the old lady) Thank you.  See, she's already stopped shouting.  (The old lady nods her head and walks away from the two as she continues doing her own shopping)

A. - Who was that?

B.R. - I don't know.

A. - You, you didn't even know her!

B.R. - No.  Oh, pass me the stuff.  (Anna passes the clothing to her grandmother who passes the items to the saleslady.)

Saleslady - I couldn't help but overhear... what a shandeh!  Young lady, you should thank G-d that your grandmother is still talking to you.

A. - Bubbe!

B.R. -  That's why we are buying today, Mrs. Goldberg.  So, she can get married.  (Saleslady hands the bag of clothing to the old lady who hands it to her granddaughter.)  Okay, mein Anna, let's go get some shoes and stockings on the next floor.  Then we'll go home for lunch, a good lunch.  You're too skinny.  A man likes to hold on to something.  There's nothing on you.  .... (They find the shoes and stockings without incident.)

A. - Bubbe, ...

B.R. - I'm telling you the truth, Anna.  Your parents aren't doing anything about a shidduch, so I have to do this job.  You know, while I'm thinking about it, we'll go home, make a good lunch, and talk.  (They walk out of the store and stand in front of the building.)

A. - I'll carry the bags.

B.R. - Thank you, mein Anna.  Okay, take the bag with the new clothing. 

A. - And that other bag, too?

B.R. - No, too heavy for you. 

A. - I carry books all the time.  Let me help.

B.R. - Books are light.  These are bricks.

A. - Why are you shlepping bricks?

B.R. - Someone bothers me, I'll hit him.  If your husband were here, I'd let him carry the bricks.

A. - Bubbe, please stop this. 

B.R. - Anna, we're here to make you look more marriageable, more womanly....  It's all for the sake of life.  You've got to try to get married!

A. - I know, I know, for the sake of my son.

B.R. - Yes. (smiling)

AND THAT IS HOW I FIRST MET MY SON.  IT ALL HAPPENED AT GOLDBLATTS.